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Friday, May 13, 2005


Holy crap. This Elvis special on CBS tonight is making me cry. It's the end, and they're talking about how he died. Elvis man! Elvis!! He's all fat and unhappy. Lisa Marie is ending the interview early, and they're playing Elvis singing "I can't help, falling in love with you."


I went to his house once. I had just got my Mustang and Jaime and I took off during our college spring break. I had planned for us to camp at the KOA's (just like I did for every vacation up and down the California coast and even Vegas). Our first stop was Knoxville, Tennessee. We were the only tent campers. They actually laughed at me when I made the reservation for a tent space two weeks before. It snowed! This March in the Appalachian mountains. We were cold the whole night in our separate sleeping bags.

Onward to Memphis. We slept much warmer as we shared a sleeping bag. This campground cost 18 bucks a night for an 8x8 patch of grass surrounded by a sea of gravel. But we were literally connected to Graceland. This place exist solely to service the RV'ers (and in our case, tent campers) that are going to buy tickets to Elvis' house.

We did the whole Graceland thing. The "Visitor Center", the "Garage" of the Kings cars and motorbike's, and of course, "The Mansion." Jaime rushed me through the Jungle Room. When I lay on my deathbed she will be reminded about this particular moment in her life! Mark my words! We were watching this special just tonight and I said, "Hey maybe they'll show a picture of the Jungle Room. I've always wondered what that looks like." And she said, "I'm sensing your sarcasm." And then, after that, I said, "Well I hope so, cause I'm laying it on pretty thick."

Then we were done with Elvis' house and we didn't know what else to do. We had driven two days, 1000 miles and we didn't know what else to do the rest of the day. So we went to the casinos in Mississippi (ah, the "Hollywood." I would return to you during my epic 24 hour motorcycle sprint back from Hot Springs, Arkansas four years later (but that's another post)).

It rained like a mo-fo while we keep pumping our quarters into the "Win a Harley" slot bank (we had a 30 dollar gambling limit in those days, but it lasted a good while). We had to drive 30 miles an hour back from Tunica in this torrential down-pour.

Do you see what's coming? Imagine what happens to the tent sites of the Graceland KOA during just such a rainfall of which I previously described. If you imagined the campsite being unaffected by the three inches of rain that fell in as many hours, then you imagined the opposite of what actually happened. In fact, our tent, our sleeping bags and pillows were buried in an ankle deep puddle necessitating our sleeping in the aforementioned Mustang (which is still parked out front of this little yellow house 6 years later).

It was quite an adventure. And, well, you bastards don't want to admit how cool Elvis was. I don't blame you. You're Best-Week-Ever-ization compels you to make fun of him. I understand. You just don't know any better.


PS Priscilla looked Horrible! On this special, and on Letterman last night. Poor millionaire. She shoulda just aged gracefully.

PPS I'm sorry for calling you "bastards." I didn't mean it.

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