Rock n Roll in the Real World

So I'm coming off the A-mazing American Minor/Redwalls show from Friday. Awesome. (more on this sometime this week-----HI KATE!! Nice to meet you finally!) and WHAT THE HECK!!!!! I'm trying to buy Rilo Kiley tickets and there is $7.50 in "convenience charges" for two tickets???!!! Sah-ssssskrew that! I'm buying at the door for this one. I'll take the risk of a sell-out. Screw you Ticketmaster! You may cup my balls, caressing them rudely, for some shows, but not this one. Supply and Demand!! I have no demand for your supply for this one. Deal WITH IT!!!!

I am evil Homer. Boom-cha, boom-cha, boom-cha. Redwalls are tonight.

All I'm saying is that I heard the Redwalls on Sound Opinions web cast. I heard the whole album they were streaming off their website. I heard the whole album off my Rhapsody player that I pay 9.99 a month for. And then I still bought the CD at my local independent record store. The Redwalls made the fastest transition from first listen to "bands worth buying" listing in RNRNRW history. That's all I'm saying.

Tonight 9pm. Relative Theory records. The Redwalls.

So, check these cool new tunes out.

This fella emails me and asks me what I think of his songs. I get these emails sometimes. People point me to an mp3 and I listen. Sometimes I don't care for it, other times it catches my hear and then I tell you about them. This one is pretty dang catchy:

Soft - Droppin'.mp3 (6.5 Megs)

Check out their website, www.thebandsoft.com, sign up for their email list and they let you download full versions of their other stuff. Pretty cool. Their other songs are pretty good too. Check it out this weekend.

And then, just this morning I get an email from a girl named Bullette. She says she cried during the Elvis thing too. She's got her entire album ready to download here. And I've only heard the first 5 songs, but I really like it so far. You should def. check it out 'cause at least the first 5 songs are good. It's like singer-songwriter, but late-60's harmony sounds, and cool instrumentation all together. I'm gonna listen to it some more.

Here is a direct link to one, but you can get the whole album at her site:

Bullette - Show Me.mp3 (6.4 Megs)

Thanks for letting me know about your good music Soft and Bullette.

Ohhh, I want all of them! And I have a free Whopper coupon in my wallet! I just remembered! I'm going today. I want that Han Solo so bad.

And play the light saber tossing game. I started to get pretty decent after the first hour.

Also, I'm going to follow this Slate authors BBQ adventure.

REDWALLS THIS FRIDAY!!!!!

I once stood in Studio 8h. Just me, no one else. An intern for Conan O'brien showed it to me. I stood there in 1996 and looked at "Home Base." I coulda died right then.

Right this second (as I type), SNL is up to Weekend Update on the season finale, and, well hell, this is funny show so far. That "America's Top Model" thing was so spot on...that Maja Rudolf is Way, Way under-rated!

But anywho, Lindsay Lohan looks disgus....oh crap, the "Prince Talk Show" is coming on. What do I care about how little Lindsay eats and how hot she looked before (and NOT HOT now), Fred Armison and Maja is on. I must go.

I hope the Brilliant Will Forte does something even half as great as that "Pepper Sketch" last week!

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REDWALLS ON FRIDAY!!!!!!

Haiku war!

I did the crazy midnight show thing last night. I'm beat! I had to get up and go to work and I've had a busy day so far. I'm gonna nap like never before this afternoon!

I really, really dug the new Star Wars thing and seeing it with all the nerds who clapped and cheered at everything Yoda did. It was quite an experience with the 24 multiplex filled to capacity, all watching the same movie at the same time. Plus popcorn, hotdogs and bottle sodas were only a buck each, so that was just gravy on the mashed potatoes of a fun night.

Oh, and whilst waiting for popcorn, Regina Spektor's "Us" played over the "AMC Radio Network". And that seemed like the creamy butter that went with the gravy on the mashed....oh I'll stop this wretched simile right there.

PS The title of this post is meant to screw with those of you who came here from Webnymph. Suckers!

myroommatehasabeard.com (thanks Melinda)

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So Thursday is the Biirdie show at Relative Theory and I'm going to try my best to make it. I typed "Birdie" into my Rhapsody player and some cool music came out. The kind of indie pop music that is really... fits-into-Garden-State-esque. But......did you notice what I typed wrong??? The band Eric is bringing us at Relative Theory, Thurs night 8pm is (pay attention to the spelling now) B-i-i-r-d-i-e. and is not the same band (although they seem to have equally cool music) as the band that shows up on Rhapsody when you search for B-i-r-d-i-e. But, alas, B(double i)rdie don't show up on Rhapsody.

But the Arcade Fire finally got added!

EndingEast has Biirdie mp3s. And more. Bookmark.

Holy crap. This Elvis special on CBS tonight is making me cry. It's the end, and they're talking about how he died. Elvis man! Elvis!! He's all fat and unhappy. Lisa Marie is ending the interview early, and they're playing Elvis singing "I can't help, falling in love with you."

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I went to his house once. I had just got my Mustang and Jaime and I took off during our college spring break. I had planned for us to camp at the KOA's (just like I did for every vacation up and down the California coast and even Vegas). Our first stop was Knoxville, Tennessee. We were the only tent campers. They actually laughed at me when I made the reservation for a tent space two weeks before. It snowed! This March in the Appalachian mountains. We were cold the whole night in our separate sleeping bags.

Onward to Memphis. We slept much warmer as we shared a sleeping bag. This campground cost 18 bucks a night for an 8x8 patch of grass surrounded by a sea of gravel. But we were literally connected to Graceland. This place exist solely to service the RV'ers (and in our case, tent campers) that are going to buy tickets to Elvis' house.

We did the whole Graceland thing. The "Visitor Center", the "Garage" of the Kings cars and motorbike's, and of course, "The Mansion." Jaime rushed me through the Jungle Room. When I lay on my deathbed she will be reminded about this particular moment in her life! Mark my words! We were watching this special just tonight and I said, "Hey maybe they'll show a picture of the Jungle Room. I've always wondered what that looks like." And she said, "I'm sensing your sarcasm." And then, after that, I said, "Well I hope so, cause I'm laying it on pretty thick."

Then we were done with Elvis' house and we didn't know what else to do. We had driven two days, 1000 miles and we didn't know what else to do the rest of the day. So we went to the casinos in Mississippi (ah, the "Hollywood." I would return to you during my epic 24 hour motorcycle sprint back from Hot Springs, Arkansas four years later (but that's another post)).

It rained like a mo-fo while we keep pumping our quarters into the "Win a Harley" slot bank (we had a 30 dollar gambling limit in those days, but it lasted a good while). We had to drive 30 miles an hour back from Tunica in this torrential down-pour.

Do you see what's coming? Imagine what happens to the tent sites of the Graceland KOA during just such a rainfall of which I previously described. If you imagined the campsite being unaffected by the three inches of rain that fell in as many hours, then you imagined the opposite of what actually happened. In fact, our tent, our sleeping bags and pillows were buried in an ankle deep puddle necessitating our sleeping in the aforementioned Mustang (which is still parked out front of this little yellow house 6 years later).

It was quite an adventure. And, well, you bastards don't want to admit how cool Elvis was. I don't blame you. You're Best-Week-Ever-ization compels you to make fun of him. I understand. You just don't know any better.

Love,
Mateo

PS Priscilla looked Horrible! On this special, and on Letterman last night. Poor millionaire. She shoulda just aged gracefully.

PPS I'm sorry for calling you "bastards." I didn't mean it.

Well, my Thursday was productive just as I predicted yesterday. After I published that last post I got to work and finished off my next Art Brut 3.14 number.

You remember the big hit I had covering Art Brut's amazing "Formed a Band" and I liked that I got to play with my old keyboard and the bass drum and egg shaker and the Garage Band software on this Powerbook I have. So I wanted to do another tune in the same vein, and I went into my notebook and pulled out a little number I think fits a bit of that Art Brut theme. An organ riff picked out and a steady bass drum later, here is what I came out with.

Art Brut 3.14 - I Am, I Am.mp3 (3.2 Megs)

And here's the lyrics so other franchises can do their own version:

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I Am, this shirt. Take it away. Negate Me.
I Am, these blue jeans. You don't see them, you don't see me.

I Am, this hair style. No blonde streaks, no me.
I Am, a doubtful man. Complacency, ain't me.

I Am, I Am, I Am...

I Am, this cable service. I won't be nervous, I signed a guarantee.
I Am, this goatee. A clean shaven face, just ain't me.

I Am, I Am, I Am...

Symbols show exactly who I Am.

I Am, a Miller man. Great taste, less filling.
I Am over-compensating for lack of masculinity.

I Am, I Am, I Am...

Symbols show exactly who I am.
I don't know exactly who I am.

Oh boy. Today is Thursday and that means Jaime is going to her folks to watch the shows. I don't go. I use this time to have the house all to myself and do those things that I don't dare do in front of anyone. Like trying to learn how to play "The Bridge is Over" riff (Boogie Down Productions), and practicing my harmonica (and bad harmonica playing is not something that anyone should have to hear). But I need the practice and time is of the essence because the day I turn 28 (May 28), my grandma wants the yodeling to commence. I've got a George Jones, a few Dylan, a smattering of Hank, and my own.

I have some tunes over there ---> that I want to brag about. If you get bored on day, go listen and post horrible critiques, or don't listen and post blindly loyal accolades. I'm thinking grandma would like "Been Swearin' Too Often", "October Ride" (with the harmonica solo), "I'm S'posed to Change, You Stay The Same", and I've worked up this killer version of "Folsom Prison Blues" where I whoop it up like the train whistle (I sang this for the first time at Paul's Deli Monday-before-last and got tipped 6 bucks from total strangers! My first tip.) Then I got "I'm Begging You To Stay", "Last Time, Last Night" (w/ harmonica). I've gotta work out the set. I've got two weeks to go.

Alright, I'm all alone in the house. I gotta get to work.

Patty was great as always, but she didn't sing hardly any songs we knew. Lots of new ones which was cool, but we couldn't really sing along to them. Afterwards, we walked over to Relative Theory where Jaime bought the new Soundtrack of our Lives and Raveonettes so she can listen to them at her work.

I also bought my Redwalls tickets. Only 5 bucks!! How can I miss this? It'll be worth the hassle of driving overnight. The Redwalls in this awesome, cozy venue for only 5 bucks. Thank you Eric!

And thank you ChicagoMonkey for pointing me to a new Redwalls tune!

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Patty. Just another of the hot old ladies that I've been finding attractive lately. First Amy Sedaris, then Maureen Dowd, and now sweet, sweet Patty. 

Fon bloggin patty griffin. Cool video backdrop. I heart her.

So I've been pulling up to my Rhapsody and hitting up some scandanavian's music. Mando Diao and Soundtrack of our Lives (TSOOL). I've been a smidge obsessed with this part of the world since I stumbled on What the Smurf.... I don't know what the heck is going on in those pictures where everybody is wearing the cool hats and matching red pants. He calls it the "baptism" which only makes me more curious.

Anywho, I really liked TSOOL's last one, and now I really like this new one. It's called "Origin Volume 1." These guys are always down for a catchy song. I keep listening to Midnight Children and Heading for a Breakdown the last two days (interspersed with multiple dance sessions to Interpol's - The Specialist, as you know doubt read about in the Daily Press a few Sundays ago). So, anyway, I don't have much to say. I just wanted to let you know that I liked this TSOOL album although it does seem a little too similar to Behind the Music (which was their last CD). I agree with a lot of this guy's review of Origin Volume 1.

Holy crap, spanish language Iggy Pop! Copy, Right? comes through again!

John Cusack recounts HST's funeral.

Interesting idea going on with this Huffington Post. All kinds of Hollywood types, media types, congress-people etc all posting to this one site. Lots of postings today, but it'll probably taper off really quick. I don't think these folks will be into it after the honeymoon period is over (it only just launched today).

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You must hear the Raveonettes new album. It's good. Go watch the video to "Love in a Trashcan" (Go to the Raveonettes site and click the "Videos" link).

If you download the new Rhapsody, go into the "Preferences" window and de-select the "Check for new Media every 60 minutes" button. It was making both my home and work instances crash. New Mando Diao is on there, and it's really good. The new Soundtrack of our Lives is on there and it's pretty good too.

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The Redwalls are coming!! Ending East productions is giving me the best birthday present ever! The Redwalls! The day before my birthday, May 27 at Relative Theory. Here's what I'm going to have to do. I have to be in West Virginia for the family reunion the day after this show, Saturday May 28 (This is the same reunion that I keep talking about at Paul's Deli after I sing my country songs. Grandma is expecting a show and I have to be prepared). But I can't miss this show. So I think I'll have to go see the Redwalls (I special requested them way back during the Bella Lea show. I MUST see them!), then I'll drive overnight to grandma's house. I'll rock my Jimmie Rodgers and original country tunes, then I'll worry about getting some sleep. It'll be quite an adventure. I'm getting on in years, but I think I can handle it. Now I have to buy tickets in advance cause I don't want to be screwed out of this show!

Thanks to my beloved commentors, I'm a smidge closer to figuring out what TOTP is.

It's a countdown show that Art Brut would probably end up lip syncing on because most performers lip sync. Is that about it? Has Art Brut been on at all yet? How long does a show last? It sounds a lot like it's TRL but with some cool bands every once and a while. Just like TRL!!

Anyway, the quest to unnastand continues with another TOTP:

The Smithereens - Top of the Pops.mp3 (4.17 Megs)

O.K. the Americans have went on record with what they know about TOTP. Still slightly confused. "Countdown Show" says Kate. Listen to more Kinks says Joe.

Kinks - Top of the Pops.mp3 (3.8 Megs)

Anybody have a line on an audio clip of Art Brut's TOTP?

So when I made my Art Brut 3.14 cover of Art Brut's awesome "Formed a Band", all the Brits (whose election day is coming up) keep taking about "TOTP". What the living heck is "TOTP" supposed to mean to a southerner? A US of A southerner? OH!! I found out it means "Top of the Pops". And the only freakin' reason that I know what the heck "Top of the Pops" is is because I bit-torrented a Yeah Yeah Yeahs live version of "Pin" once and when the video starts it says "Top of the Pops. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Pin. 25".

So maybe this show is like a Top 40 countdown with Shadow Stevens. That would explain the "25". But if the YYY's were number 25 that night, how long is this show? They wouldn't have 25 live acts on?

Well, anyway, the point is I don't know what the heck Top of the Pops really is except it's a TV show, and the name of an Art Brut song. But what's this Art Brut song sounding like? I wouldn't know because I've only heard the Art Brut songs on iTunes. "Top of the Pops" isn't there and I don't know if they have a proper recorded version of it. I think it's just a song they do live.

Anywho, one of the Brits that has an Art Brut franchise called Art Brut 87 has a wicked cool version of this "Top of the Pops" song. Read more and listen to "Art Brut 87 - Top of the Pops" here.

So I'm watching The Chris Matthews Show like I do every week this time, and Maureen Dowd is on. I don't care where you are in the political spectrum, right, left, or "they're all crooks", but Maureen Dowd is foxy! I mean super foxy. She's so smart and smarmy and she's fifty but she's rocking those fishnet stockings. And she never laughs does she? Boy I'd like to make her giggle.


Dowd 

Oh, and the antithesis of Dowd I suppose would be Coulter. Which of us doesn't want to live out an aggressive sexual humiliating of her? Dowd gets a gentle, caressing, loving romp; Coulter gets a cheap bend-over in the broom closet outside of the Fox News greenroom. But lo and behold! Ann Coulter is a man!! Here's the proof:



Thanks to the Dagger for the head up. I've gotta go take a shower and shave my body bare. Feel so dirty. Hair is dirty. I need to be smooth.